Learning To be a Mommy

Eight days ago I had a little boy. His name is Tristan, and he joins his older brother, Caelin, and has an even older sister, Rebecca. I have been a "mommy" for years now, and even as a kid, I watched my own brothers and sisters...so it's not like I am new to the mothering business.

But with Tristan's birth, something changed. I went from being a mom (as in, someone who had given birth and was taking care of a child) to being a mommy. I now look at my boys, and I feel like a mommy to them. I look at my house (even when no one is expected) and I feel a level of shame that I had not experienced before. I look at my almost empty cupboards and wonder what would I do if I were to lose all ability to purchase foods for my family. I look at the three guys living with me, and feel like a family.

I am aware now of so many shortcomings and I see now so many places where I could (and need to) improve. Bedtime, mealtime, bibletime. We haven't been acting like a family so much as roommates that all live together. I had no idea at all,, but now I can see the difference in how I need to be, and I have the motivation to achieve it.